We usually buy 2 x 9″ pizzas for a total of £14.20. Two different types of pizza for two of us.

That yields 63 sq inches of pizza each at a hefty 11.27p per sq in.

A 12″ half-and-half pizza gives us 56.5 sq in each for a total of £9.50 – 8.4p per sq in.

A 14″ gives us 77 sq in each for a total of £12.60 – 8.2p per sq in.

A 16″ would give us 100.5 sq in each, plus indigestion probably, for a total of £14.90 – so 7.41p per sq in.

## The Stuffed Crust Discontinuity

A member of our team posited that if the pizzas were stuffed crust we would end up with less crust each with the 14″. And indeed that is correct. A 9″ pizza yields 28″ of crust each whereas a 14″ would see us with just 22″ each of oozy cheesy goodness. And even with a whopping 16″ we’d only be left with a measley 25″ each of dairy-filled dough to nibble on.

## Conclusion

If it’s straight up savings you want then go for the 14″ half-and-half – more pie for less pennies. £1.60 less and 14 sq in more pizza each.

However if stuffed crusts are what’s needed to satisfy your hunger then two 9-inchers will certainly fill your hole.

Also, spending £3.20 on six chicken strips took us just over the £15 mark which entitled us to a free 9″ garlic bread.

## Notes

Assumes perfect pizza circles in a vacuum at a constant velocity.

Larger pizzas have a lower ratio of crust to area so it might be inferred that, as the topping never quite reaches the outer edge of the base, there may be less absolute topping on two smaller pizzas.

## Further Research

It would be interesting to find out which of the pizzas would result in the most kilocalories per penny but lack of nutritional data hinders this line of enquiry at this time.

Results will need to be reproduced and variabilitues minimised where at all possible.

More research is desperately required in this area and my team is willing to make that effort.

A lab, two undergrads, a post-doc, six months funding of £60,000 and a hundred-pack of moist towelettes is all we require to bring this valuable data into the massed knowledge of humanity.

– David B Goodman, Alan G Carey et al.

## Addendum

Any Nobel prizes will need to be left with the hairdresser next door if no reply. Dog ate the previous one and I had to shlep back to Stockholm to pick up a spare.

Thanks to Something Tasty in Llanfyllin for their delicious research materials.